Tax. Almost if not all of the people I met consider tax as a burden. As if the government is cheating them through it. Of course I have lesser idea about it considering I am still a student. But I have learned that tax should not be treated as such. Tax collected by the Beaureu of Internal Revenue [BIR] is used by the government to pay for most of the services enjoyed by its jurisdiction. Of course its purpose is beyond that. After all Jesus commanded us to pay our taxes. In order for the imposement of tax to be acceptable, which may help people to voluntarily pay their taxes, it must possess good principles. These are uniform, equitable, proportionate, certain, just, progressive, levied for public purpose and not contrary to law, public and national economic policy or in restraint of trade. Tax laws change and it may negatively affect the response of the people. Tax systems and administration should make people know that discovery of fraud can be possibbly detected and that punishment is readily given if in case.

The time has arrived! It has long been overdue. I am happy that finally I have made my first bank deposit today. Actually it is my second time to have a bank deposit. The first one was when I was just a tot. And my mother was the one who opened an account for me. It did not stay for a long time, probably because it was not my initiation to save.  

I am determined to really save as much money as possibly I can with my new account. The first amount I have saved is P2,000, and I will make it up to millions. I have qualities and attitudes that can make it happen.

Every month I will see to it I save even a small amount of my allowance from school. Mother has promised she will also give me specific amount of money to save for my review.

I believe in the importance of saving. We do not know what to happen in the future. It is better if we have saved money in case we will need it. Though today is more important, we should not neglect tomorrow.

Part of my resolve to discover the real me and uniqueness is to change how I look. For this reason I had my haircut a bit fashionable. I decided to modify the "safe" hairsytle I used to have before. My new hairstyle is short with side bangs due to my oblong face.         

My family seemed not like it. It might be hard for them to adjust to my new look. Even I was a bit dubious at first, so I have understood where they came from. However, I just look different now but not ugly if I will objectively evaluate it.  

I will stand by it. Even if others do not agree, as long as I know it is right for me, I will not take time to let them bother me. Simply because this is me! The only thing I can do for them is to respect their opinion about me without bitterness.

Sorry. I feel guilty. I am dissapointed of myself. I could not do what I supposed to. I learned to be nice to people who hurt me, and I resolved to do it. But it was totally a big setback!

If I were to go back to the situation just occured, my reason tells me there was nothing wrong with what I did. I was just being true to myself and to others. It was the best thing to do for me.

However, my concience makes me guilty. It reminds me that I should be nice to people, event though they irritate me. I am also imperfect like them. It judges me as self-centered.

It seems to me that both are reasonable. One can not stand alone without the other. There should be a balance between the two. The former is easier for me. I need to work on the latter. And the best thing to comply with the latter is to be quiet whenever it happens. But by being quiet or aloof, it conveys even a stronger message - my true emotion. My inside reflects.

This is me. Do I really have to change to please someone? Not at all says half of me. However, we are brought up to sacrifice for others, though not all the time.

What I hate being passive toward others is they tend to be agressive in response. As if they can say, ask and do whatever they want because I am their possession. People have the tendency to act like that. I am one who can not allow it. And I hate people who are such domineering. There were times when I also agressively treat my friends. And I felt repentful now. I will never do it again. 

What happened is one of the setbacks with my resolve. I feel better now that I have unloaded what bothered me. I am ready and willing to start it again. I hope next time my response will be better that today. Something I will be happy about after I did it.  

Kasabihan that to be a good speaker, one needs to be a good listener. Pero kasama din dapat na we think before we speak. Many just speak whatever cross their minds  only to regret it after. Sometimes it is so tempting to say something to impress others. We actually give bad impression if we do not give justice to what we say. 

One of the values I value most is being credible. Admitedly, there were times when I was not able to keep my promise. For example, I just promised I would be on a diet. But when I felt hungry and it was already lunch time, I ate until satisfied. Di ba nakakahiya? Being credible is next to being respected. I proved that! Kasi ang pamangkin ko sa akin laging nagtatanong for confirmation kahit na naitanong niya na sa iba but he doubt it. Ang sarap ng feeling to be treated that way. Ang mga bata pa naman bihira mag-pretend.  

So I have finally resolved that before I would say something again, especially if it is a promise, I would think many times until sure.

I was watching a lifestyle show yesterday. One of the topics was about having stylish bangs. Nagulat ako dahil pwede rin pala ang mga lalaki na magkaroon ng bangs na babagay sa shapes ng faces namin. I thought it was a taboo for men. Baka kasi pagkamalan gay or ma-reveal ang pagkabading ng isa. 

It came no suprise to me when I saw the hair of one of the male housemates of PBB [Pinoy Big Brother]. He has stylish hair with bangs. Patagalid ang bangs niya siguro kasi bilog ang muka niya. Sa tingin ko bagay sa kanya. It only proves that he is secure with his sexuality.

I suddenly thought that because I am always concious of what others might think of me, I was not able to show my potentials. I always think of what I do and will do because of fear. In the end I had nothing to accomplish and prove. 

I conclude that it is only when we freed ouselves that we will manifest our uniqueness. It is nice to offer our unique self to the world. Hindi iyong puro paggaya kung saan kinakalimutan natin ang mga sarili natin. Sabi nga sa nabasa ko "everyone is already taken". It is about time to take our own. 

Siyempre hindi naman madali iyon as in theory. Lalo na sa ibang cultures where what others do matters to others. Paano pa kaya kung puro mga insecure ang mga nasa paligid mo? It is not that easy. So ano ang dapat gawin?

Siguro we must first establish a solid foundation - ourselves. Kapag tanggap na natin ang mga buong sarili natin, it is only when we can make others do. It is the time when we are no longer dependent on the reaction of others. Kapag wala ng takot! It is not done overnight as any other changes. Pero in time, if we are really determined to our resolve and we are willing to pay its price, it will come out naturally. Let us make it a goal!

Hay naku tumataba na daw ako sabi ng pamilya ko. Ang haba pa ng buhok ko. Ang pangit ko na in short. Idadag pa na di pa ako nabibilihan ng facial tissue. Very oily kasi ang face ko so I need the tissue to wipe it out every now and then.

Di na nga ako masyado concious these few days. I have resolved to show who I really am. Mataba na oily. Hahaha! Pero minsan di maiwasang ma-concious kasi I am just starting my resolution and it is not that easy.

Bukas I will start to lessen my intake of foods. Sana di ko lang sinasabi ito ngayon kasi I am full. Sana bukas din kapag wala nang laman ang tiyan ko. Ang hirap na masaya kumain ng marami. Siyempre alam naman ng halos lahat na masarap kumain. Kaso sa mainit na lugar di masyadong maganda. Bukod sa oily pa ako. Hindi swabe!

Pero okay lang naman din. Everything is in control. Pagdating ng sahod magpapagupit na ako para naman magmuka akong malinis. Bibili na din ako ng tissue. Try kong mag-diet starting tomorrow. Ngayon I think I need to rest. Lalo akong papangit kapag nag-stay pa ako even later.

I discovered something that has changed my life. I learned to be myself despite my flaws as a human. It takes knowledge of your whole self to be able to take the first step. Both my strengths and weaknesses are needed to take into consideration. I have learned to value my strengths and see the uniqueness in me. I need it to boost my confidence. My weaknesses need not to be ignored. Though I should not dwell on it, it is necessary to be aware of it. Next is to learn to accept positively those limitations I can not change. The fear is still there. Nevertheless, I believe things will run smoothly as time passes. 

I realized that I inflicted myself for so long by disguising. I thought people around me would appreciate me. Though some did, the whole experience was not satisfying. Whatever you do there are part of people who are displeased of you. The only difference when you are being yourself is you do not have a heavy heart. Why should I change for someone other than myself? Though we naturally long to be accepted, I want to be accepted for who I am and by the people who can do. I simply can not please everyone.

But how can others accept you if you can not first accept yourself? I went through this stage of denial. The reason why I pretended to be someone else is because I was not able to accept the real me. It was only when I had knowledge of myself that I learned to accept it with positivity and challenge.

I am happy that for once I experienced to deal with others being myself. I could share a part of me. And the reward was indeed satisfying. My fear that I might do something they would dislike was of course there. But I was uncertain whether it would happen or not. I might be the only one thingking it. So what if ever it happened? I do not have the baggage. I am unique as far as I know.      

Part of human life is to be able to get along with others. There is even a saying as no man is an island. It is a skill one should develop.

People around us differ from us in so many ways. Each is unique. There are those we can build good relatonships with and those the opposite. It takes skill and knowledge to be able to intereact well despite its challenges and risks.

I'd like to discuss just a few of those we have to bear in mind when dealing with others.

Trust. It should not be given easily. There were stories which revealed that even the least person they suspected to betray them did it. Just because we do not trust every person we meet does not mean we are being unfair or our relationship with them is futile. It is just the start of probably a deep and meaningful friendship. Trust is earned. You do not deserve a friend if you can not be trusted.

Let you friends make friends. Our friends are not our property. Even though they are our friends, they have their own lives and needs to satisfy. We show we are good friends by allowing them to grow and be complete. Nothing should change between the two of you. You just increase your associates. 

Choose your friends. Who we are with affects our thinking. We are not programmed to always do what is right. We are imperfect humans. Anyone who can aggravate our sinful tendency can be successful in making us commit mistakes we may regret after. Prevention is better than remedy.              

There is a saying as what you suspect of others is what you do yourself. There is a truth to it. Though others might have clean concience, we sometimes suspect them of doing bad things againt us just because we think they are capable of doing it based on our experiences. What if we are absolutely wrong? It is indeed unfair for others. The worst is when we suspect wrongly those who love us. In my case I suspect one who is unfortunate. I feel guilty. 

What brought to this was just a simple text. She texted me a quote which I interpreted as she implied she disliked how I treated her. Then it was the start of sarcastic exchange of texts if I deciphered it correctly. 

It was true that most of the time I was being unfair to her. The cause is another story. I gradually became cold to her when I felt I was betrayed by her. Her credibility for me was dubious. I became vindictive due to the pain I experienced.

I have no solid idea of what kind of person she is. She has never made me feel I am worthy of her trust. There were circumstances wherein she showed the exact opposite of the good person I expected from her. I do not know her for almost four years we have been together as friends. I do not know if it is even right to say she is my friend and vice versa.

The only way we can solve it is by communicating. Who should be the first to? I doubt if she would. The only thing I have in mind is if she is worth the effort.